Codependency and the Alcoholic Family

Codependency and the Alcoholic Family

Codependency is the behaviour pattern that manifests in individuals who grow up in an alcoholic family. It is a condition in which a person has a strong desire to help or care for others, often at the expense of their own needs. It can be as obsessive as the alcoholic's need to drink. Codependency can lead to a range of issues, including low self-esteem, poor boundaries, self doubt, resentments and unhealthy relationships.

The dynamics of an alcoholic family are complex. Alcoholism affect all family members, not just the alcoholic. Over time, family members often take on specific roles in response to the alcoholic's behaviour. These roles are often unconscious and can last well into adulthood, even when the alcoholic is no longer active in their addiction.

Here are some of the common roles that family members in an alcoholic family can assume and why they manifest:

1. The Enabler - This person tries to keep the peace in the family by minimizing the alcoholic's behaviour or preventing consequences from occurring. They often take on more responsibilities than they should, making excuses for the alcoholic's behaviour.

2. The Hero - This person is the overachiever who tries to make up for the alcoholic's behaviour by excelling in school, work, or other areas. They feel as though they have to be perfect to make up for the alcoholic's shortcomings.

3. The Mascot - This person is known for their humour and attempts to lighten the mood in the family by making everyone laugh. They often use humour as a defence mechanism to cope with the family's dysfunction.

4. The Scapegoat - This person is often blamed for the family's problems and may become the focus of the family's attention and criticism. They often act out in response to the chaos and dysfunction in the family.

5. The Lost Child - This person withdraws from the family and may become isolated from others. They often feel invisible and overlooked in the family and may struggle with low self-esteem.

Understanding these roles and how they manifest can be a crucial step in breaking cycles of codependency and dysfunction in families affected by alcoholism. It's essential for family members to recognize their behaviours and seek support to develop healthier coping mechanisms and relationships. If you or someone you know grew up in an alcoholic family, reach out to a qualified therapist, coach or support group to begin the journey towards healing and recovery.

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