The End of Her Journey With Alcohol

The End Of Her Journey With Alcohol

I wake up every morning to the sounds of silence, an empty shell of a home that is supposed to be filled with love and laughter. My husband, whom I vowed to love and cherish until death do us part, no longer speaks to me. The unspoken truth of our situation feels as though it is suffocating me, weighing heavily on my chest. Each day feels like a struggle between the normalcy I crave and the addiction that I believe is destroying everything around me.

My children, once the focus of my world, now resent me. Their teenage angst and rebellion is directed solely at me, and I can hardly blame them. I've been consumed with my obsession to drink and have been unable to care for anything or anyone else. The lengths I have gone to have a quiet drink in solitude, away from the ones who love me most, now leaves me with a feeling of deep regret and shame.

When I am not drinking, I am barely working. My position as the Director of Radiology at the teaching hospital is in jeopardy, not only because of my inability to show up sober, but because my commitment to work has suffered due to my addiction. It feels as though everything I have worked for is teetering on the brink of collapse.

I am making a choice, a decision that will alter the course of my life and potentially save me from myself. It feels like a crossroads, where on one path lies the comfort of another drink, and the other, the unknown road to treatment recovery. I know the consequences of the former, yet it feels like the easier road to take.

The latter is daunting, but it also offers glimpses of hope and a chance to mend what has been broken. It is a chance to once again become a mother who is present, a wife who can hold her husband's hand, and a Director who can inspire her team to greatness.

Suicide feels like an easier way out, but I know deep down that it will only bring more pain to my loved ones. I have decided to choose the road to treatment recovery, hoping that I can fight through the pain and rise above the addiction that has taken control of my life.

It will not be easy, but I know that with time, patience, and a willingness to accept help, I can overcome this and come out stronger on the other side. I refuse to be the person that my addiction has made me. I will be the person that I know I am capable of being, one that my family and colleagues can be proud of. 

To anyone else who may be struggling with addiction, please know that there are people who care and are willing to help you. You are not alone, and there is no shame in asking for help. Let us choose recovery over addiction, and begin our journey to a better tomorrow. 

Your story is likely different, however the pain is likely similar.

Why work with a Recovery Coach?

• Personalized support: A recovery coach can provide personalized support that's tailored to your individual needs. They'll work with you to identify your triggers and develop strategies to manage them.

• Goal setting: A recovery coach can help you set realistic goals for yourself, whether it's staying sober for a certain amount of time, improving your relationships, or finding a new job.

• Accountability: Similar to the accountability aspect of sober living, a recovery coach can help hold you accountable for your actions. They'll check in with you regularly to see how you're doing, and to offer support and guidance.

• Continued growth: Working with a recovery coach can also help you continue to grow and develop as a person. They'll help you identify areas where you can improve, and provide guidance on how to do so.

• Trigger management: Triggers are situations, events, or people that can lead to a relapse for recovering alcoholics. A recovery coach can help you come up with strategies to manage them.

How to avoid & manage triggers with a Recovery Coach:

• Stressful situations: Stressful situations can trigger cravings for alcohol, as many people turn to alcohol as a way to cope with stress. To manage stress, consider practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. It's also important to have a support system in place that you can turn to when you're feeling stressed.

• Social events: Social events like parties, weddings, or holidays can be challenging for recovering alcoholics, as they often involve drinking. To avoid temptation, consider bringing a sober friend with you or finding a non-alcoholic drink that you enjoy. It may also be helpful to have an exit strategy in place in case you feel overwhelmed.

• Negative emotions: Negative emotions like anger, sadness, or loneliness can trigger cravings for alcohol. To manage negative emotions, consider talking to a therapist or support group. It's also important to practice self-care and engage in activities that make you feel good, like exercise or spending time with loved ones.

• Old habits and routines: Old habits and routines can be difficult to break, and they can trigger cravings for alcohol. To avoid these triggers, consider creating new habits and routines that don't involve alcohol. For example, instead of going to a bar after work, you could go for a walk or attend a yoga class.

• People and places associated with drinking: Being around people and places associated with drinking can trigger cravings for alcohol. To avoid these triggers, consider finding new social circles or avoiding places where alcohol is served. It's also important to have a support system in place that understands and respects your sobriety.

Remember, everyone's triggers are different, and what works for one person may not work for another. It's important to identify your own triggers and develop strategies to manage them that work for you. Working with a recovery coach can be helpful in identifying and managing triggers.